Being a young and stupid teen, of course I got my hands on alcohol ... annnnd I got to the point in a relationship that I just drank my feelings. Which I know, would lead me down a dark road. (I decided to stop drinking entirely not only because it's ILLEGAL but because I was drinking far too much) But I was in a long relationship, in which this person supplied me with alcohol and was the person who got me to drink in the first place. So I had an endless supply of alcohol pretty much. Which, an emotionally unstable young girl shouldn't have access to. I couldn't possibly blame another person for this, trust me the blame is all on me. This isn't a blame post. Like I've said before, this blog is kind of a form of therapy for me.
This is hard for me to admit but, I need to put this on the table. I drank not too often but.. When I did I over did it. I drank sometimes until I got sick.. if you have ever gotten drunk when you're sad or lonely you understand what I'm about to say. I was so depressed I would talk about dying. I would be so down on myself and remind myself of all the terrible things that have happened to me, or that I have done, even mistakes I have made. Crying became the norm when I decided to drink. It's pathetic, I know.
Involved in a relationship I knew, in my heart, I didn't really want just forced me to drink all the pain I had away.. well that was what I had hoped would happen every time. An escape... but it never worked out that way. It just made me a sloppy, sick, and sad drunk girl.
I knew I was getting to the point of no return, becoming an alcoholic. Which I really didn't want, pft who the hell really does right? My family has a bad history with addiction, so I refused to travel down a road most traveled. So once I went to a friend's birthday party, I quit drinking cold turkey. I promised myself I would not drink until I was old enough and emotionally stable. (Mind you, I am only 19 at the moment. It's really bad I went through this kind of problem at my age.. but anyways..) If you know me and ever invite me to go drink or have some kind of alcoholic beverage you want to offer me, remember this post... I don't need the temptation.
You might be thinking, if you are older than I, what does she know? She is hardly old enough to understand the real struggles of addiction.
Yes, I am young and a little naive about this. But I knew when I told myself I need to drink.. I was becoming something I never wanted to be. Sure I've never experienced things most alcoholics would, but ... I really don't know where I am going with this..
Okay, I may not have struggled with the addiction but this is just me getting something off my chest and explaining to anyone who asks me to drink the reason why I don't. Here it is.
What I gained from this whole situation is that yeah life's a bitch and I can't just call it quits because oh woe is me. My life sucks blah blah, I need to do something to make myself happy, not try to drown my sorrows in poison.
-L3
This is hard for me to admit but, I need to put this on the table. I drank not too often but.. When I did I over did it. I drank sometimes until I got sick.. if you have ever gotten drunk when you're sad or lonely you understand what I'm about to say. I was so depressed I would talk about dying. I would be so down on myself and remind myself of all the terrible things that have happened to me, or that I have done, even mistakes I have made. Crying became the norm when I decided to drink. It's pathetic, I know.
Involved in a relationship I knew, in my heart, I didn't really want just forced me to drink all the pain I had away.. well that was what I had hoped would happen every time. An escape... but it never worked out that way. It just made me a sloppy, sick, and sad drunk girl.
I knew I was getting to the point of no return, becoming an alcoholic. Which I really didn't want, pft who the hell really does right? My family has a bad history with addiction, so I refused to travel down a road most traveled. So once I went to a friend's birthday party, I quit drinking cold turkey. I promised myself I would not drink until I was old enough and emotionally stable. (Mind you, I am only 19 at the moment. It's really bad I went through this kind of problem at my age.. but anyways..) If you know me and ever invite me to go drink or have some kind of alcoholic beverage you want to offer me, remember this post... I don't need the temptation.
You might be thinking, if you are older than I, what does she know? She is hardly old enough to understand the real struggles of addiction.
Yes, I am young and a little naive about this. But I knew when I told myself I need to drink.. I was becoming something I never wanted to be. Sure I've never experienced things most alcoholics would, but ... I really don't know where I am going with this..
Okay, I may not have struggled with the addiction but this is just me getting something off my chest and explaining to anyone who asks me to drink the reason why I don't. Here it is.
What I gained from this whole situation is that yeah life's a bitch and I can't just call it quits because oh woe is me. My life sucks blah blah, I need to do something to make myself happy, not try to drown my sorrows in poison.
-L3
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