Superficial SNOB!

So here's the situation, at school it was holiday pajama day. And my friend participates, as usual, nd she wears these penguin long socks.. which i thought were soooo cute. Anyways not the point. So this girl lets call her.. SNOB, kay so SNOB texts this guy i know nd he shows me the text. it said something like since when were penguin socks in style lmao or sum. nd the week before SNOB calls my friend fat and ugly. What the heck? I know my friend. She was hurt by SNOB. nd i told her it didn't matter what SNOB thought. of course she didn't listen to me. So i have a few things to say. Shut up SNOB no one cares what you think, especially me. Nd no one asked what your opinion on any matter, at all. And i thought that people were against bullying, what happened to that??? STOMP OUT BULLYING?!?! What happened? Verbal bullying is the worst. I've gone through it, it sucks! Nd to see my friend going through the same thing, hurts even more. Verbal bullying doesn't leave bruises to your body, it leaves wounds on your heart. So SNOB, you know who you are, if you are reading this, i hope you realize what you are doing. and to all those who are reading this, stop bullying, you know you don't like it when you're the one being bullied. So stop it.

-L3

Ugliness

Mmm kay, so I thought that when I got into high school the bullying wouldn't be so bad.. and come to find out it gets worse. Back in middle school people would call me ugly or a bad name at least once a week. In high school lets see.. its up to four times a week. And yesterday at a marching band competition one of my fellow marching band mates called me ugly. It hurt me so much, for some reason I actually thought that maybe since marching band is for the outcasts, just maybe people would accept each other. I thought that we were kind of like a family. We accept each other, we can be ourselves, because we have each other's backs. It hurt me so much.. I don't know, one day I had decided to dress myself up. I thought I looked great, I go to school get some compliments, I'm feeling so great, on cloud nine right? Then I hear a girl from one of my classes I'm not sure who, but she had said "Oh my gosh, don't you think she's trying to hard? I mean she looks like a wanna be whore. I don't understand why she even tries." And I don't even know why I try anymore.
Why can't people just get over themselves c'mon.
I just had this long discussion with my mom about not listening to them and how they just think that they're ugly themselves.. blah blah blah stuff to help you out. The thing is is that it didn't really help me. It's not going to change the way I think about these people. I can honestly say that I hate anyone who has ever brought me down.. yeah I hate them. Sorry just being honest. I hate them because their comments and nasty names stay with me. Like when I'm done getting ready to go somewhere and I look in the mirror all the comments flood into my mind. "You're never going to be pretty" "Why try, you can't change your ugly face." "You're so over weight its disgusting" (funny because I was skinnier than the girl who said that to me, just sayen) "I feel sorry for any guy who will ever go out with you, because they'll have to deal with your looks everyday. I mean come on eww." "How can someone love you, you're so.. you. It's disgusting" Things like that.
So my mom told me to look into the mirror every morning and say "You are beautiful. You, are, beautiful." at least ten times. I'm planning on doing it, hopefully it will help me out. And also I have a new way of dealing with all these negative comments. When ever someone tells me that I'm ugly or something along those lines, I'm just going to think "Screw You!" I think it will help. I challenge you guys to do the same as me. Tell yourself that you are beautiful every morning, look at yourself in the mirror, really look at yourself, and say that you ARE beautiful.
Hopefully I will post some helpful advice and stuff like that. I hope I helped someone. I'd really appreciate it if you would leave comments.
-L3

School

Okay so I'm going into high school this year and you don't get a list till the first day of school. But they told me that I need paper, pens, a binder, and a back pack. I didn't think much of it so I told my dad and he said okay we'll get you what you need for school. No big deal right? So I went and asked my mom about the school supplies and she said we're not going to buy anything until she gets the list. I for one don't want to go to school with nothing. She said I could just use my dad's binders and use my brother's school stuff. I just think its totally unfair for me to have to use my brother's school stuff. Like I don't get to have school supplies. I mean she wont even let me get a back pack! C'mon! Frealz? I think this is just ridiculous. Its school stuff, and not even a lot! If the binder's not big enough keep the receipt and we can exchange it! Seriously! All I'm allowed to get is shoes.. and school starts on Monday. This is just so stupid.

A Poem For Someone That I Hope Forgives Me..

How can I begin?
I guess I hope you know how to forgive.
Please forgive me?
I won't do this again it's guaranteed.
I need your forgiveness.
Because without you I think I may be just a distressed wreck.
My problems you can detect.
I'm sorry.
Not to worry,
I would understand if you don't wish to speak with me any longer.
You kinda helped me to become stronger..
Forgiveness.
That is all I ask.
Please.
For me?

-L3
(I don't write poetry for just anyone, just for those who are close to me)

Inspiration!!

Just now I was just sitting at this laptop thinking, what should I write about? Should I write about politics? About Obama's speech? Nooo, that wouldn't be a good idea, teens don't write about politics! Should I write about things I wish I could do? Nooo, then I'd just get upset. Should I write about my birthday party that's coming up? Nooo, that would just be really stupid. And then I just groaned out loud "What should I write about?! I need some inspiration!" My cousin, who was in the room had said, "If you don't know what to write about then don't write anything at all! It needs to come to you, if you force it then it's just gonna be crappy." Ahh, the wise words of my older cousin. Next time I have to write a paper I'm going to need to quote her and say "it's going to be crappy if I have to write this in two days! I need to go with the flow!" Ha ha ha ha.
-L3

Yes I am an outcast if you haven't noticed.

If you are one of my friends you know that I consider myself an outcast. I know I am different, I know I am weird, and I know I am perfect just the way I am. But other outcasts consider this blessing a curse, they don't see that they are beautiful. I see people gawking at some people who dress differently, I can see that they feel uncomfortable because they might think they are thinking they look ugly. I think they are gawking at their breath taking beauty. Some people don't appreciate the variety in beauty like I do. I don't ever consider anyone ugly. And no one should.
And one time I was thinking to myself, "I wonder if God was once an outcast like me." Have you ever wondered the same thing? I mean God loves everyone of us an outcast or not, we are all children of God. And I remember when I was younger I heard something similar to what I was wondering, it is a song from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's called God Bless the Outcasts.
-L3

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(this is that song I mentioned)

Beauty IS the Beast

One of my favorite movies just reminded me that looks aren't what matter, it's what's on the inside that counts. I always can't help but catch myself judging people on their looks, I know I would hate for others to do that to me. I feel so horrible, but everyone does it without even knowing it. People judge others on what they wear, how their hair looks, or maybe just the way you look period. I know I dress differently.. and to some people I may look ugly, but I don't care.. well I can't say that, because I do care. But I wanted people to stop being so vain, looks can't always get you what you need in life. And who cares if other people don't like you just because you look different, embrace your unique qualities. They make you who you are! Everyone is beautiful!

-L3

Listen to this playlist: BVB Forever!

OPPRESSION!

Okay, so lets start back in 6th grade, I had looked up the word "bridesmaid" and Black Veil Brides comes up on Google. So I checked out their music, I loved it! So secretly I listened to it and pretended to be into other things because I was afraid to be myself. But the Black Veil Brides taught me something, don't be afraid to be you, you are perfect the way you are. Your flaws make you even better, and I finally showed everyone the true me.. they didn't believe it was me, they thought it was just a faze or me putting on a show. It's who I am! But today I was listening to Black Veil Brides' song Ritual, and I was inspired. So I decided to put some fake stitches on my face (like Andy's the lead singer of Black Veil Brides). I thought they looked great and that they made me look pretty. I walked down stairs with my head held high and I was shot down like a bird in the sky. My mom said "What is that on your face?! It's not Halloween! Stop pretending you're goth when you're not!" and I said "But mom they can be washed off, and if you knew the meaning behind them you would be so happy that I have them on me." and she said "Leiah go wash them off, you're not going out with those!". I was so hurt when I walked to my bathroom to wash them off. Plus the stitches represent my wounds that make me myself and I was proud of them so why not put them out there for everyone to see? I just felt like I couldn't express myself at all. So I put the stitches other places that weren't on my face. But she still wasn't happy I still have them on. I think I should be able to do this don't you. I was also hurt that my own mother can't accept that this is who I am. I love to dress in black and listen to my music which is metal/post hardcore/screamo. I am proud to be different.. if that means I am a goth then so be it! I GUESS I'M GOTH!
Goth is just a label actually and so is emo, I hate to be labeled!
People who are reading this, don't ever be afraid to be yourself! If wearing dark clothing is your style WEAR IT! If you like listening to good music ROCK OUT! If you like to scream GO TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP AND SCREAM SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU! If you like to write songs GO WRITE A BEAUTIFUL SYMPHONY! Don't let people tell you who/what to be! I love everyone of you who are out there! I don't know you personally but if it helps you to be yourself I accept and love you!
-L3 (and proud to be!)

Babies

I woke up this morning to phones ringing.. I didn't think much of it so I went back to sleep. Another hour later my mom said "Leiah wake up!". I opened my door and yelled "Why?!". She replied "I need to tell you something!". I decided to be funny and say "Ha, what are you pregnant?", to my suprize she yelled "YES!!". I have mixed feelings about this.. I mean I wouldn't mind having a new brother or sister, well hopefully not another little boy that's just like my little brother I have at the moment.. but my family doesn't have the money to support a baby, I mean diapers alone would be $2,ooo before they even start potty training.. not to mention clothing, formula, toys, a crib... I mean I'm not pregnant and I'm worried about this stuff. Oh man the crying and the changing of the diapers is going to fall on me the oldest when the parents are too tired to get up. Oh man.. wish me luck people, wish me luck...

-L3

Life's a storm.

Well, here in Vegas it has been storming.. I absolutely love storms! And the storm got me thinking, life is just like this, don't you think? There is always going to be problems in life that will frustrate the crap out of you (the dark clouds). And you will shed tears whether they be of love, loss, or happiness (the rain). Times where you can't seem to find the light and then something/someone changes your outlook (lightning). And then fights (for your rights, what you think/believe is right, love, and friends) which is the thunder. Yeah, this all ran through my mind when my family and I were driving home in this beautiful weather.. hmm.
But, there is going to be a down side to the weather. It's 4th of July.. fireworks and rain don't mix haha. Well not bad for a first blog post huh? Jus something to think about..

-L3